Doll Closet: Day Seven
Streaming Footage Part One
Streaming Footage Part Two
Jesse Call-in Transcription
(timecode from Streaming Footage Part One)
JESSE: Hi. I wonder what happened?
AMBER: I don’t know, but I’m glad that we’re connected now.
AMBER: How’s it going today?
JESSE: Good. I’m going to have to mute the TV; I still have it up pretty loud.
AMBER: Oh, ok.
JESSE: Have to go back downstairs. Yea, it didn’t even ring in here.
AMBER: That’s so odd, because I have your phone number now, your ground-line, obviously I have your cell.
AMBER: But, I have the ground-line in a note in my iPhone. So, I’ve just been trying from there but it does seem like on the 4th ring it does go through to you. Or rather, the 4th try. Who knows? Who can know?
JESSE: So how’s it going?
AMBER: It’s good. You want to hear like a status update of where things are?
AMBER: So the trim, the door molding fits exactly on the left-side—
AMBER: So that’s good news. And it’s painted and the floorboard has got the 2nd coat of paint, so I’ll probably just do one more to both of those categories of trim. The 2x2 frame is all set with it’s new 1/8” rods, and it’s setting now with its—
AMBER: Superglue. And the 2x2 um, pieces that are 6 and ½ are now mounted to the 2x2 frame, and the 6203 or whatever that is bearing nipple is mounted on you know half on the 6” piece and half on the frame itself. But not screwed all the way in, the way that you recommended.
AMBER: So that seems all set and then also the 2x2 frame is drilled into the plywood, just with 4 screws.
AMBER: And not with anymore. And, everything fits inside itself so the 2x2 frame fits inside of the 2x4 frame with the ½ and inch on the left side, and um, I do see that because the whole issue from the beginning was the top being wider than the bottom, my—now that I have it laid down—my circular saw cut on the right hand side of the plywood is pretty choppy, so I got some sandpaper board and I'm just going to kind of smooth out some of those parts, and it will just be a little—
AMBER: It’s not off, it just clearly looks like it’s not a straight line. It was supposed to be a diagonal line, but it’s just like a choppy one, so that’s not very satisfying, but I’ll try to fix it as best as possible.
JESSE: OK. Um, one thing I noticed when you’re drilling, when you’re screwing a drywall screw in, it seems like the bits slipping a lot, and I don’t know if you have something, like you push it, you push the door up against the wall so you can actually push harder against the screws so the bit doesn’t flip ‘cause it should only take a few seconds to set a screw in. And it sounds to be like the bit’s just rounding out that head of the screws. So it’s just jumping around, and also, I don’t know if you have another bit for the drill? For a Philips? Do you have an extra Philips bit, maybe one that’s a little bit sharper? That one might be dull also, maybe that’s why it’s slipping.
AMBER: I wonder if that’s just the way (ind) because that’s from many years ago—I don’t even know who in my family kindly gave me this tool set, and it’s kind of for like very light home improvements, you know so. I noticed a everything is a little weak and flimsy, so that, that’s a good idea. I’ll look for a different bit.
JESSE: Yea, a different bit, one that’s like a newer, sharper, because they wear.
AMBER: Ok. Because I do still have a few things to drill in. I have to drill the 2x4 frame into the doorway with drywall screws, and I also have to um, you know screw these bearings, or nipples all the way in.
AMBER: Ok, I’ll look at that. Maybe it’s in the toolshed.
AMBER: But right now I feel like, you know after we talk I’ll do one more coat of paint and then hopefully that superglue will be totally set. I don’t want to mess too much with it.
AMBER: And then, I think the next step is to take off the rectangles from the top and bottom of the hinge side with the circular saw, right?
JESSE: Yea, see if you can figure out where it’s going to, where the axis is, the axis point or how the door’s going to open. Yea, you’ll have to just use your head and figure out exactly how much to go down, and how much to go up from the bottom. It should be probably an inch and ¾ or so. I mean, just enough to clear that 2x4, which is only an inch and a ½ thick, but you know, you want to go a little bit more than an inch and a ½, so.
AMBER: OK, so most likely, you know, I’ll figure it out, but most likely it will be an inch and ¾--
JESSE: Yea, from the top and an inch and ¾ from the bottom. You just cut that much up into the plywood and then, right about I would say probably let’s think here, a half inch plus, maybe just another half inch so about an inch, so an inch from the center of where the pipes are. Maybe an inch away from that, you know, an inch further toward the inside of the door, go that far with that knotch and that might be enough. An inch farther than the hinge point.
AMBER: Got it.
JESSE: And I might be wrong, because the thickness of the 2x2 is an inch and a half. And then you’re into the bearing about ¾ of an inch, to the center of it. I think they’re an inch and half in diameter, those bearings. So, ¾ and an inch and a half is 2 and…uh, you might want to go 2 inches. It’s probably about 2 and a quarter. It isn’t going to hurt anything to make it a little bit more, you know?
JESSE: And then, I would save that piece that you cut out and make it all in one cut and don’t, don’t just cut little pieces. If you can make it all in one cut, and don’t, to get that rectangular piece out, save that and then you can drywall screw that to the top of 2x4 frame so that hole is covered. It just won’t be attached to the door.
AMBER: Cool, that’s a good idea.
AMBER: So, Jesse, I guess I do have a question about using the circular saw now that everything is drilled into itself, like won’t I be cutting into the 2x2? I just have to make sure that the blade doesn’t—
JESSE: You can set the blade to certain depth can’t you? Most of them have it so you can just set it down that it only goes a half-inch in. And it should be ok, even if you do cut into the 2x2 a little bit, it isn’t going to hurt anything as long as it’s not too deep.
AMBER: Ok, but my plywood is less than a half an inch.
JESSE: Is it?
AMBER: I think so. I’ll measure it.
JESSE: Yea, just make sure you can set your blade down so it doesn’t cut too deep.
AMBER: OK, then what would you recommend as the next step?
JESSE: Mount that wheel.
AMBER: Mount that wheel. So, I’ll have to rewatch the video. I did last night but for some reason that still gets me stuck.
JESSE: OK. Um, really, like I said yesterday, the hardest part is getting that lock cylinder together so it opens and so that it turns in the way you want it to turn. And in my video I’d say that there’s two key positions: there’s the lever—the lever should be probably be the same as the key. The key slot. I think the lever and the key slot line up. So that when you turn the key from 12 o’clock to 3 o’clock, the 3 o’clock position should be the open, it should unlatch. And when you turn it back to 12 o’clock, the slot is up side—or straight up and down and the lever’s pointing up. And then that should be the latch position where the pins are out.
AMBER: And just to state the obvious, I’m mounting the wheel, onto the plywood, I’m sorry, not onto the plywood, I’m mounting the wheel via the 1/16th inch rod?
JESSE: Well, you’re mounting it with a bolt to the plywood.
ABMER: Oh, ok. I’ll just rewatch the video for that part.
AMBER: And, I guess the part that confuses me, even in the video, and sorry to ask these basic questions—
JESSE: It’s all right.
AMBER: I really appreciate how patient you are with me. So, it’s like one of the rods goes down to the lock,
AMBER: and the other rod goes where?
JESSE: There’s, there’s just a bottom rod that goes to the hole in the bottom of the door for the lock pin down there and then the other rod goes over to the lock cylinder to turn the wheel. The lock cylinder is what turns the wheel from that third rod. And all you’re doing, what’s that?
AMBER: Remember how you said not to drill the hole in for the bottom?
AMBER: So like where does that rod go?
JESSE: It will go, based on where you mount your wheel it should be probably ¾ of an inch from the centerline of that wheel.
AMBER: Into the 2x2?
JESSE: Yes, in the bottom, and then if you mount the wheel so that the top rod is ¾ of an inch from the center point of that wheel, so from the center of the wheel you’re going to drill a hole ¾ an inch away from the center, for mounting the top rod, and then on the opposite side of the wheel, completely on the other side of the wheel, there’s going to be where you mount the bottom rod and so, that’s going to be another ¾ of an inch away, from the center of the wheel.
AMBER: OK. I think it will make sense when I rewatch the video and listen to this one more time. It just takes me a really long time to absorb this stuff, so.
JESSE: Ok, and then one other thing, I think it’s clear in the video but I’ll just say it right now, is the, um, I believe the rods, the top and bottom rods mount to the bottom of the wheel, they mount from underneath the wheel and go up and then the lever of the lock cylinder mounts from the top of wheel going down into it. (1:19:27)
And that’s just basically so the wires don’t run into each other.
AMBER: And then the other thing I wanted to just mention logistics, I went and got, well two more pieces of, I keep saying 1/16th inch, but it’s 1/8 inch rod last night, but I ran into it and tripped over it today and bent it again so I don’t need as much as 4 foot for the rest of what I'm doing, can I just use channel cutters, or the angle grinder to cut it where it’s bent?
JESSE: Yea, I would.
AMBER: What would you use, channel cutters or angle grinder?
JESSE: Uh, I don’t know. I don’t know what channel cutters are but I guess, are you talking about channel locks that have a little cut thing in them, or?
AMBER: I guess so. But I was thinking of just using the angle grinder if you think that’s an ok idea because I’m finally used to it.
JESSE: Well, that’s the best way for me. That’s what I would use, but also I saw one, when you first started using that grinder, something I would advise is, you’ve got to always keep in mind what way the wheel’s turning ‘cause I saw when you were cutting something the other day and sparks were flying up at you in your face, if you’d always keep in mind that the wheel, as you’re looking down at the grinder, the wheel’s turning clockwise, and just know that the top, the top part of the wheel, the cutting wheel, is going to throw things to your right. So, if you’re turning the grinder, if you’re holding the grinder in your left hand and you’re turning the grinder sideways, then the top of the wheel is going to throw sparks at the floor. And then that’s something that I found useful because I did actually get a piece of metal in my eye once and they had to pull it out with a magnet and a tweezers.
AMBER: Oh my gosh, Jesse, that sounds awful.
JESSE: It wouldn’t let me close my eyelid. It was so small, it was like a splinter you get in your finger but, and it set into my eyeball so far that I just felt something hit my eye but I didn’t think about it and then later on in the day it started to work its way out and I couldn’t even close my eyelid because it hurt so bad, because it kept scratching.
AMBER: Oh my gosh. Were you wearing goggles?
JESSE: Yea, I actually was and it went up underneath them. (1:21:38)
AMBER: Oh my gosh, well you have inspired me to always have sparks to the ground. That is so painful sounding.
JESSE: Yea, it was not really painful, well actually when you can’t close your eye and it’s all read and teary, yea.
JESSE: But I mean, it didn’t really hurt as bad as what it sounds.
AMBER: Ok, well that is perfect advice, I’ll definitely be following that advice.
AMBER: Anything else we should check in about now, technically? I haven’t—the only thing I didn’t get to from my list yesterday because I ended up, I don’t know if you noticed, my ended up stopping the stream at 4, ‘cause I got worried about getting to the hardware store. It closes at 5:30.
AMBER: Um, so I have not tried the lock out of the knot of wood yet, that was actually going to be on my list right before I cut the rectangles out of the piece of plywood. So you know, I’ll do that but then it’s basically like lock—well, I’m going to do a second coat of paint. Lock out of the knot of wood, or knot of wood out with the hole saw, then rectangles cut out of the plywood. I’m going to try to fix this. I’m going to send you a picture of the right side of the plywood. It’s pretty choppy. And then I’ll try to do some um, you know sanding just to make it look a little more diagonal looking. And then I’ll try to work on mounting that lock cylinder which is also involve using uh…the tool that starts with an S that goes into the drill? The s…
JESSE: The spade bit?
AMBER: The spade bit. Which is also going to involve using the spade bit and the 2x4 and I also have to, I got the correct hole saw for the bearings on the nipple saw, so I’ll put that into the 2x4. But basically, those things, it would great to get them all done today but, if I don’t, I still have all day tomorrow and painting won’t take long so.
JESSE: Ok, well, I from here, I’m starting to worry, because the lock cylinder is, and getting it lined up to the wheel, is one of the hardest part, because you have to really think. I edited a lot out of my video that I sent you because I was recording about three different takes because I was you know sitting there and playing with it thinking that I had it. And then I didn’t, so I’d have to start over again, and so if you could take that lock cylinder home with you, back and you put it together. There’s you know, make sure you watch the video, because I do point out in the video how to put it together, there’s a couple pieces that fit on there that inhibit the rotation and you can put, there’s one piece you can put in there that will make it turn 180 degrees, and you don’t want that. You only want it to turn 90 degrees. You know from 12 o’clock to 3 o’clock and you’ve got to put that right piece in there. And, it’s kind of hard to get together.
AMBER: Let me, let me go get it real quick, ok?
JESSE: (Whistles ‘Pop Goes the Weasel’) That’s my favorite song.
AMBER: Oh yea? ‘Pop Goes the Weasel?’
AMBER: That’s so funny, my grandfather used to sing that. That’s like, some fort of farmer thing. His name was Iyvl. OK, I have the lock cylinder. Oh, it’s not like a zip lock thing.
JESSE: OK. It’s funny, I whistle that song at my radio at work, and somebody else, when they answer it, they’ll finish the song.
AMBER: Oh, and they’ll sing the pop goes the weasel part?
AMBER: That’s funny. I’m notoriously a pretty bad whistler according to my family. But I think it’s just in comparison. My dad is such a good whistler. Oh wow there are a little—
JESSE: Lots of little pieces.
AMBER: Well, I guess I should save this bad because maybe I can also look up the instructions online.
JESSE: I can tell you which pieces.
AMBER: Do you want to tell me right now?
JESSE: Actually, it’s in the video, because yea, if you, if you would hold it up to the camera it would probably take us like 5 hours to say yes, no, yes, no, not that part.
AMBER: Yea. OK. Well, I’ll just watch the video and I know you go to work today, but maybe I could text you if there’s something that really holds me up.
JESSE: Yea, and something you said, you know using a spade bit on a 2x4, you know that spade bit for a piece of the plywood that you cut, I think it’s like 3x3…
AMBER: Oh, yea. Man, I forgot about that 3x3, maybe I have one that’s close enough.
JESSE: Yea, it’s in the video. I can’t remember what size it is for sure, but I think it’s 3x3. And you’ll take the hole saw down a certain depth in the 2x2, and then you’ll take your circular saw, and cut out from the other side, um, a rectangular notch.
So from the front of the door you’ll have a hole saw hole. And from the back side of the 2x2, the back side of the door, they’ll be a rectangular notch, and they won’t come all the way together in the middle, because you know, that would obviously ruin the 2x2. So, there’s just a little bit of 2x2 left that you screw the 3x3 piece of plywood with the lock cylinder mounted into it down in that notch. You’ll see it.
AMBER: Ok. I mean, I know you’ll say that I’ll see it. I have watched the video a bunch of times, but you know, maybe it just becomes more and more clear when it’s rewatched.
JESSE: Yea, um, the notch I’m talking about is the part where I take the circular saw and do a left cut and then the right cut on the right side of the notch that I’m making, and then I take the circular saw and I make a whole bunch of other notches in between those notches to make it week and then I take the chisel and I knock them out.
AMBER: 3x3 feet?
JESSE: No. Inches.
AMBER: Inches. That’s what I figured but when you started saying bunch of little pieces it made me wonder how big—
JESSE: Oh no, I’m making several cuts in the space between the left and the right cut of the notch that I’m making, 3 inches wide. I’m making a bunch of cuts in between those 3 inch pieces, or lines, and then you’ll have a hole bunch of stuff you can knock out with the chisel. And then that will make your notch.
AMBER: Well, I think it will become clear, and if it doesn’t I’m just going to give you a text. But, um, are you saying you’re a little worried that I won’t finish in time?
JESSE: Yea, basically because of the wires and you know, getting the wheel and the lock cylinder and everything, because that part, the last part is um, getting the lock pins and stuff together to work with the lock cylinder, that kind of takes a bit of experimentation, but I think if you see in the video what I do you’ll understand it.
AMBER: Ok. Even with, even with this afternoon and all day tomorrow?
JESSE: Um, I just was kind of worried that things weren’t, like I thought today or even yesterday you might be onto the wheel by now. But, like you said the paint and stuff won’t take so long so I shouldn’t be worried.
AMBER: Well, no, I really wanted to hear your feedback because you know I really want to stay on task, and it’s really good to hear your realism, because sometimes I get a little over confident.
JESSE: Well, that’s a good thing too but I, knowing from sitting here and seeing you struggle getting the screw in, it really shouldn’t take that long. I think you need to change that bit because it seems like it’s pretty dull. It should only take a few seconds to set a screw in, and then again I think you have to push a little harder on it, make sure it doesn’t slip. Because when it slips then you’re just chewing up the head of the screw and making the bit even weaker so…yea it’s just, you know, like you said it probably wont be that bad. The paint shouldn’t take too long.
AMBER: Ok. The other thing is, we’ve been stopping each night at five, but we can go as long as we want.
AMBER: So maybe I’ll just try to go as long as I can today and if not just make it a really long stream tomorrow. But, thank you so much as always with all this technical help. I guess I expected to—
JESSE: Your welcome.
AMBER: to need a little less technical support, but I'm so glad that you’re generous with it.
JESSE: Yea, because it’s wood, yea it’s, and I’m not that good at wood either, but it’s a lot easier than welding it would be and as far as stuff that you can learn really quick, I mean, the wood is pretty easy. And if you just, if you ruin a piece of wood you can just go by another one. It’s not as expensive as metal is. And its not as dangerous either, but.
AMBER: Yea, that all makes sense. Hey, how are you feeling about our chat yesterday?
JESSE: Um, I was drunk out of my mind what did we talk about.
AMBER: Nuh, uh.
JESSE: (laughing) Yea, I was thinking about it last night, it would be cool to look into what kinds of things are out there now with the electronic magazines that I used to get. There used to be some kits that you could build with miniature cameras, and I, I would probably expect by now there’s some Bluetooth radios built into the circuitry so the camera, the radio and everything is built in, so there wouldn’t have to be any wires. Everything would be inside her head.
JESSE: That would be kind of neat.
AMBER: Yea, that would be really neat, especially at an event, you know, at an event where a lot of people were interacting with her.
JESSE: And not, not tell them that, yea, not tell them that she could see.
AMBER: Yea, because Dollstock—although, people are really respectful of Rhiannon on a whole ‘nother level. I mean, we’re all respectful to each other’s dolls, but just some people are more up for their dolls being—
JESSE: Yea. And you know, it made me feel good when you stuck up for Rhiannon and, I mean there was some people who were wanting her to be more um, a part of the doll pile and stuff, and I, I’ve seen a couple dolls fall over and stuff and maybe their arms or hands get, maybe not stepped on completely, but you know, bumped or whatever--
JESSE: And I’m thinking, I don’t need that. You know, I want to take care of her, and then I sat her on the couch and one of the guys came over and said, ‘Well can’t you at least stick her tongue out and act like they’re kissing each other?’ And the one guy came over and pulled her tongue out and you said, ‘Hey, don’t mess with her.’ And that made me feel good that you were, you were uh, you know, sticking up for her.
AMBER: Well, I felt outraged. I was so, I honestly meant for that to come out a little nicer but I think I, I don’t know that I raised my voice but I was definitely a little sharp.
JESSE: Well, you know what I said, and it sounded like what I said was pretty dirty, but I didn’t mean it that way because that’s not what was going on, but you know, if anybody’s wondering, Synthetics, um, mannequins, their mouth, you can’t really pose their mouth to stay open and I was doing a photo shoot the night before and I wanted her, I wanted her jaw to stay down a little bit like she was talking, or like she was saying something or reacting to something I was doing while I was shooting the pictures. And the little thing that they put in the anal opening of them, they call it a balloon knot, and it’s about the size of a gumball, a big rubber gumball, and I thought, well, I’m not using that, I'm not really taking any up close pictures of anything, of anything sexual. So, I was going to take that and put it in between her teeth, and it held her mouth open. And it was perfect, and I need something soft because I didn’t want to put anything hard and big in there and because I don’t want the silicone to tear and it would, so I was being pretty respectful of trying to take care of her—
JESSE: And so what I told that guy, I said, ‘Hey don’t be touching her. You don’t know where her tongue’s been. She had an asshole in her mouth last night.’ I said that and I think they thought I was talking about me, but you know, I was talking about that balloon knot.
AMBER: I know. I know, because you then did explain but kind of under your breath that you were talking about the balloon knot, and that cracked me up. But, that whole moment because you know at Doll Stock, participating in that doll pile is always super interesting to me and sometimes a little exhausting because you know, it’s holding positions for quite awhile and as the only non doll, you know like, I feel it in my body. But um—
JESSE: You’re the most famous doll.
AMBER: There you go.
JESSE: Well, I don’t know, you might have a little bit of competition with Dotty though.
AMBER: Oh my gosh, Dotty. I hope Dotty and I can collaborate next year for my December performance. I’m trying to—
AMBER: Yea. I don’t know that Cred or Camp have been watching but, I’m hoping that Camp is into it, we’ll see. Anyway, gosh, yea Dotty. Anyway, I think I might have gotten just a little crabby. Like my knees were hurting from the position I was in. I was on all fours. And then, I think that’s when I switched to the other side. Because I saw the person who stuck his hand in Rhiannon’s mouth do it and I was outraged and really like, snapped a little bit. I didn’t mean it to sound that mean so I had to apologize but just everything in that little passage of time was like, you know, it went from being a sweet doll pile, but it’s also just odd in a lot of ways, but really fun like a tradition and a ritual. To then being like, I don’t know I guess being a little bit about consent, because he hadn’t asked your permission—
JESSE: No, and that’s the thing. I’ve never even pulled her tongue out like that like that. You know. I’ve never, I just didn’t want somebody’s hand in there, fingers in her mouth, and I’ve never really touched her tongue, I don’t think, you know.
AMBER: Yea. Well, as you mentioned, none of the dolls are really designed for that much action in their mouth. And their mouths do tear at the corners. If they’re not treated very gently, so it’s for good reason. But I do think that protecting Rhiannon, it’s also like protecting you, right? Like, we’ve talked a lot about your relationship and your desire and wanting to see through her eyes, even literally as we discussed yesterday, so. It felt a little bit like sticking up for you in that moment.
JESSE: Thanks. I mean I got that. I felt that. And you know it always makes me feel good that you want me to run your camera too, so. I don’t know, how’d that turn out.
AMBER: Oh, it turned out really well, just like the year before. I haven’t worked a whole lot with any of that footage. You know, it’s funny to do this now kind of ritual of dates, right, so last year at Dollstock I picked up Heather and Sidore/Mark II, in order to make the you know, Heather/Mark II, or Heather/Sidore/Mark II Lolita performance, just a few months later and then this year at Dollstock I picked up your door, or rather we took a close look at it in order to prepare for Doll Closet so I end up between Dollstock, which is October and November, and December when I have my December performance, you know, end up kind of not spending a lot of time with the Dollstock footage until you know, the following year. But the pictures this year were outstanding and also we just got so much more playful with the doll pile this year. I really had fun squatting Missy.
AMBER: Yea, like, um, as if I was doing weightlifting you know?
JESSE: I’ve seen those pictures, that was cool.
AMBER: Yea. And also that time lapse that you made was awesome.
JESSE: Oh that was, um, it was last year um, one other guy’s camera and he had time lapse feature, and actually it wasn’t a time lapse feature, I think it was just taking a picture every 30 seconds, and we took them all and put them in my laptop and put them in video software to do that. But yea, this year the iPhone comes equip with time lapse in the new software update they had so I just used that and yea, it did turn out pretty good.
AMBER: Yea, it was so sharp until you know, it ran out of batteries it did it’s job.
AMBER: That’s good to know that it uses a lot of battery to use that feature.
JESSE: Did it run out of battery? I thought it went all the way to the end.
AMBER: No, it ran out of battery right as I…someone handed Missy to me in order, then I squat her down and it ran out right before I squatted her down.
JESSE: Ok, I didn’t see that.
AMBER: Yea, but it’s just good to know for next year and we might go to another location, I hear, so. That would be great, and I hope you can come.
JESSE: I do too. Um, but we’ve kind of set a date for our wedding. It’s going to be about a year and a half. It’s going to be…let’s see…no it’s going to be just a little more than a year. February 2016. So yea, I won’t be married yet so we’re not going to live together until we’re married, so you know, it’s a chance that I could still get out and do that, so.
AMBER: Well, that’s exciting.
JESSE: Yea. And I hate to be sneaky but as long as I’m still living here and I don’t have the eyes upon every little thing that I do, I’m sure I could probably you know, load the car up the night before and head out and I mean, she’ll obviously know where I’m going, but I don’t want her to see what I’m taking. (1:40:29)
JESSE: You know, she just knows I’m getting together with some people that I met. I do have a good time every time.
AMBER: Yea. And it would be great to get Rhiannon out. And now that I’ve been to your house and I’ve seen how big your garage is and how possible it is to slide her from the rafter there.
JESSE: Oh, up in the loft?
AMBER: Yea. It’s so possible to easily get her in the car without anyone in the outside seeing.
AMBER: Yea, I’m going to keep my fingers crossed and maybe next year we’ll be working with some camera eyes, we’ll see.
JESSE: Yea, um, that means I’m going to have to start doing my homework.
AMBER: That’s right. Both of us.
JESSE: Yea. That’s another project I’m going to have to had to my list.
AMBER: Yea. You have a lot of projects, I know. You’re a not only creative but also very building and engineering oriented so we might make a good match that way. Um, anything else you want to follow up on? I’ve been reading the transcripts and thinking about how to kind of check in with you after we talk about technical stuff each day. But I really just enjoy when you lead the conversation and talk about what it is that feels good to you to talk about really.
JESSE: Yea. Um, I don't’ know I can’t think of anything that I was going to add today, but. Unless you can think of something that you want me to expand on, or…
AMBER: I don’t think so. I wanted to just think a little bit more on what you said yesterday that it felt a little bit like I was your therapist, right? That it felt good to talk about this stuff and to have a place to talk about it and I think you said something about you know, wondering if anyone would ever know some of the stuff you got away with.
JESSE: That, that’s the thing because a lot of times when I would go off on my little adventure, and it wasn’t like I was pushing it and hoping that I would get caught, but there was always that feeling of—I think that’s what made it more exciting knowing that I could get caught, you know? But, I never wanted to be caught, it was just that I was getting away with something, and I always had kind of grin whenever I did it and I got back home safely, and, and uh I always felt like there’s another one I can add to my list than I can, but you know, say that I did. But, I was always grinning because I though, who am I going to tell?
JESSE: But I always wanted maybe some day get it off my chest, some of the adventures that I did, some of the things I dared to do. But you know. (1:43:21) Now I got, I guess I’ve got another one that’s exciting. I went to a parking garage in one of the bigger towns close to here that has big buildings and stuff and there’s a parking garage and I went clear up to next to the top level, the top level is obviously not enclosed so any body from an adjacent building can see onto it, but you know I did, I did get dressed up and whatever on one of the top levels and walked around. So, that was another thing, I was in a public place, but it was in the middle of the day when no one was at lunch break and no one was coming and going, so I got away with it.
AMBER: Yea, but there were people all around who could of.
JESSE: Yea. And the thing is, and I can, I’m sure that most men can attest to this, and probably you to, and the sound of just, and I really don’t have the rhythm, but just the sounds of hearing high heels on concrete is very, is a very good sound.
AMBER: Yea. And that’s been a big part of this performance, huh?
AMBER: Do you have any of the shoes that you have worn over the years in that purple bin that's over the locked part of your garage?
JESSE: Yes, I do.
AMBER: Would you feel interested in taking pictures of them?
JESSE: One of the pairs I had, well, I still have, but it’s uh, like the shoes that you wore last year at Dollstock. The black--I think they had a thick sole? Like maybe an inch and a half platform or something?
AMBER: Yea, yea. Oh my gosh, those are actually really uncomfortable for me to wear.
JESSE: Really? Those are my favorite ones. I like those.
AMBER: Awesome. I mean, in theory they’re supposed to be more comfortable because the bridge of your foot is elevated you know, to a certain extent so its kind of meeting your heel in a closer way than the shoes that are to the floor, but um, mine are just so high, um, I have an ex-boyfriend that gave them to me and they were his excitement, they were his preference—
JESSE: Oh yea?
AMBER: But I found them really hard to walk in. But that’s cool. Were yours as high? Or, are they as high?
JESSE: Yea, I think they must have probably a 4, 4 an ½ inch heel, but of course they have the platform, you know an inch an a half, so they’re probably only 3 inch. But you know I hit my head on the doorway and stuff when I walk around the house, but…
AMBER: Um, are you able to get that nice clicking sound up in the loft because of the plywood?
JESSE: Yea, but the thing is, I think the sound travels throughout the whole floor of the upstairs so I think that the neighbors can probably here if I do that. So, I was kind of paranoid.
AMBER: Except that maybe they think you have a hot date.
JESSE: Yea, maybe.
AMBER: That’s probably what I would think. Um, wow, well I’m so curious, and I was that day but obviously I wasn’t going to ask. You seem to always when you want to talk about something or show me something offer it. And also, we’re both Midwestern, there’s just a way to that, right?
AMBER: There was no way what I was going to ask to look in that bin, but I know you mentioned there were some of Rhiannon’s clothes and some clothes that were closer to your size. So I was just curious about, mostly because I love that stuff, and I love getting dressed up.
AMBER: So that’s when, on my gosh, I’ll just never forget that first Dollstock dressing Rhiannon up like, it was so fun to do it.
AMBER: Especially because I’m just so into her, and I know I’ve said that a couple of times this week, but um, she’s just beautiful when we put that feather in her hair too and then had the kind of like, flower, feather situation in her hair and um, she had that kind of white lacy shirt and she was on that saddle that was in the hunting lodge, that was really nice, that was a really nice like, I just had fun setting it up with you, but also it was a really nice picture.
JESSE: Yea. I was really glad that you took interest in her and I was you know, when we saw her in Synthetics at L.A. and she was just hanging there, honestly I was kind of disappointed because I thought wow, I thought it was feel better than this or look better than this but uh, but then they said, well she’s not finished. I said, oh ok. But, then there’s the fact that they got, they had some problems, they were, they had her hanging there for I don't know, probably 3 or 4 months before they even got back to her. And that, that kind of bothered me but, everything worked out well and I even made a comment to one of the guys, I said, look at that doll hanging there. They keep pushing her aside when they have to go behind her to get something. And I said, I think every time they push her she bangs into that table right there. And that ended up being Rhiannon but she was fine.
AMBER: Yea, I remember that really well. Because we had talked before hand and you said you know, well, I don’t know if it was you who said this, but I guess the year prior to Dollapalooza, someone’s doll who was attending the event was you know, almost finished and they worked hard to finish her for the Dollapalooza event just like as part of the open house, so I think someone said to you—
JESSE: That was mine.
AMBER: They were like, oh yea, maybe, maybe that will be you this year, so I think all of us were going to meet Rhiannon in our heads and then she was hanging there.
AMBER: But I have to say I’ve seen a lot of their work. All of their work is amazing.
JESSE: Right, I know.
AMBER: And out of all the work that I’ve seen, I love Rhiannon the most. I can honestly say that.
AMBER: Yea, I don’t know what it is, she just looks so alive and she, the freckles and beauty marks on the, you just did such an amazing job of picking all of the elements. Like her skin is so creamy and her freckles kind of accentuate that.
AMBER: Yea, I find her to be just gorgeous so, I hope you come to Dollstock next year and we find a way to work with her again, but yea, I just have to admit, it’s kind of unflattering to admit this about myself that I was a little curious about what was in that bin, so.
JESSE: Oh. Yep.
AMBER: Maybe I’m nosy.
JESSE: Well, maybe I’ll show you next time. But yea, I, I kind of wavered back and forth on the options and, and I cancelled one of my orders and started all over, and then…I don’t know, I think I confused Ronwen (?), or she was wondering why, you know, I kept changing my idea on what options I wanted and she helped me, you know figure it out. You know, obviously she’s always there for anybody that needs help if they can’t decide and so I’m really glad that I went with the beauty marks and stuff because I wanted, like I told you one day, I wanted something that was perfect. And then I thought, well, how perfect is that? That’s not perfect. There’s no such thing as perfection in anybody, you know? And everybody, everybody has some sort of flaw or a mark here or there that may not be very flattering, and I said, yea just scatter them: beauty marks and freckles. Not a whole lot, but I wanted, I wanted it to be as close to real as possible and nobody’s perfect so. You know what I’m getting at.
AMBER: Oh, totally and that’s some of what I love so much about her. Like, it’s also that she’s just so miles apart from the other dolls, it’s just, it’s just my personal interest. I know that. I don’t say this as a way to create a hierarchy, but my taste is 100% in her direction and it’s just fun to think about you twos relationship and some of how she functions for you and so, it’s all just a lot of love toward y’all’s direction.
JESSE: Thanks, I’m glad you like her. And that we’re working together um, maybe we can see how this goes with the eyes and stuff. And um, I actually threw away a lot of shoes and stuff that I bought awhile, you know, after using them a couple time and the effect wasn’t there, but whatever, I just threw them out.
AMBER: Well, what if um, what if you sent some pictures of Rhiannon’s shoes. Only if that feels comfortable to you but um, but I have that pair of red high heels.
AMBER: Which is why I chose these high heels for the performance.
AMBER: And um, yea I don’t know, I’m into heels and it’s good for me to know what you picked out.
JESSE: I am to and what if I just sent you a mixture of—maybe not today—but I’ll send you a mixture of different shoes and stuff and you guess whose is whose.
AMBER: Oh my gosh.
JESSE: But, maybe not side by side because then it would be obvious, but um, I also have to tell you that my brother and his wife, I told you that she lets him pick out stuff, you know, shoes and whatever—
AMBER: Yea, yea, yea.
JESSE: one day we were up in his bedroom and he was going to show me something on video that he had, an old TV show, or something that he bought and he opened up his wardrobe, and he said, ‘check it out.’ and he had probably six or seven pairs of heals in his wardrobe and another set under his bed and he told me that when he gets off work in the morning when he gets off third shift and his wife goes to work, he says he dresses up and sleeps that way. (1:53:39) I mean, not totally dresses up. But he’ll wear, he’ll wear some leather pants and some heals or something and wear them to bed and even when we’ve gone out to a car show, or looking for car parts at a swap meet or something, he’ll, he’ll have a pair of leather pants on underneath his jeans and he’ll start grinning at me and I’ll say, ‘what’s so funny?’ And he’ll, he’ll like undo his pants, he goes, ‘look.’ I said, ‘you’re sick,’ I say ‘why do you want to’—he’s always telling me you know, we, if I get pulled over by the cops or get in an accident, someone’s going to see that I, well for instance like I had shaved legs or painted toenails which I haven’t done in awhile, but he was always giving me some crap about that when he’s, he’s always doing something too, you know. But I think that’s kind of weird. He’s wearing two pairs of pants just for the feel of it. But that, that’s just, I was just trying to get some of the guilt off of me I guess by saying my brother does it too, but.
AMBER: Well, you know my stance, I don’t think it’s anything to feel guilty about and I don't think it’s sick, none of those things, but I do think it sounds like in a brotherly way you all have a little double standard, or he does.
AMBER: Wow, I am thinking more about the logistics of leather pants under jeans and yes, it sounds like a little bit hot.
JESSE: A little much.
AMBER: No, I don’t think it sounds like too much, not in a judgment way, just in a like, right now I have control top pantyhose underneath this like, pretty unflattering green suit thing, you know this one piece, and you know it’s like silk. I think it looks like something that Hillary Clinton would have worn in the early 90s. Uh, it’s a little short so like, you know, a little bit referencing you know, like overalls, like work outfits.
AMBER: But to wear the pantyhose underneath is really just all about the heels fitting better.
AMBER: I don’t know if you’ve experienced that, to put high heels on without panty hose, you’re feet kind of like just stick.
AMBER: But, you know, it’s better than last year when I was wearing control top pantyhose and Spanx with that dress, but it does take—
AMBER: Yea, but it does take just another level of intention to wear multiple garments.
JESSE: Huh. I was just thinking about the reason that we put pantyhose or stockings or even knee-highs on a doll because yea, it’s the same thing. You get the shoes on a lot easier and they recommend putting some short stockings or knee-highs on the hands also when you’re dressing them so you don’t smash the fingernails and stuff so yea, here in the doll community we all try to take care and learn stuff that we wouldn’t otherwise know about femininity. And uh, Camp was talking about, he was there, I think it was last time, but I think he was talking about looking on EBay for clothes and he said, he made the comment that we’re all a bunch of grown men getting excited about deals on EBay on heels and stuff and I thought it was funny.
AMBER: Yea, that was. He’s hilarious. But also, it revealed a little bit that I think he might be super into the heels as much as both of us are.
JESSE: It could be.
AMBER: Yea, well, in any case he’s into getting heels on EBay for his doll, so.
JESSE: Right. Yea.
AMBER: So that’s good. Oh man, I guess I should, I’m having an eye on the time and I guess with everything that’s left to do build wise I should get going. And you have work today, right?
JESSE: Yea I have to get in the shower here in about five minutes and get ready to go, so. I’ll be watching, though.
AMBER: Ok, well sounds good and I’ll text you with this locking cylinder if I can’t follow the video as perfectly as I hope to.
JESSE: Ok, that sounds good.
AMBER: All right, have a good day!
JESSE: You too, thanks a lot.
AMBER: Ok, bye.